Between Betwixt and Becoming

My mother fasts once a week,sometimes twice.Both my parents have the first meal of their day only after worshipping the Lord.My name, in itself should reveal the extent of religious beliefs I have been brought up in. Like every other child that I have known,I was also introduced to the reward system in the name of God.The concept of virtue and sin,hell and heaven ,the past and the after life. We have always been conveyed this concept of equilibrium. The belief in the works of "Karma".This idea of vengeance gives so much hope to the one who was wronged.Yet,it also reveals their helplessness and inability to take actions.The phrase, "Unko unka Bhagwaan dekhega" has been a rock to the poor,vulnerable section of the society who are aware of the corruption,the malice that is inflicted on them on daily basis.They let go,internalize and accept it as a part of life by holding on to this very rock of faith.Taking actions would  backfire.They cannot afford to not earn even fo...

I am turning 25 in 2 weeks.If you had met me just few months before,you would have known how freaked out I get talking about marriages .The word that I have dreaded since forever.Marriage feels like a fullstop or a comma.And I am not ready to add any kind of punctuation in my life. But isnt sometimes life a series of semicolons? I saw marriage as a ticking time bomb when bursted,you lose yourself.You,like a caterpillar :a childish,moody,wayward,free woman turn to this "supposed to be beautiful" butterfly:always smiling,pleasing woman who radiates sunshine from her ass,without any break.Just perfect! My fear about marriage wasnt about fear of commitment.I have an "anxious attachment style".I came across this concept just few months ago when I was randomly surfing the internet trying to answer questions that no one would ever answer for me.Analysing and repeating the scenarios in my head.In total ,I was crippling into a mess. I was coaxing myself from inside to just b...